How to Build Your Emotional Toolkit
If the last few years have taught us anything, it’s that we can’t keep relying on willpower, spiritual bypassing, or “I’ll be fine” energy to get us through the intensity of this final Snake‑shed.
We need actual tools — the kind that work when your ego is screaming, your nervous system is jumpy, and your frequency drops faster than you can say “why am I crying in the Woolies carpark again.”
So this month, I want to help you build a toolkit that is yours — not mine, not Instagram’s, not your therapist’s — yours.
The one you keep on your fridge, your phone, your bedside table… wherever your ego tends to ambush you.
Because the ego is clever.
It knows how to pull you into old stories, old fears, old loops.
Your toolkit is how you gently trick it back into safety, presence, and love.
Step 1: Know What Pulls You Off Your Chair
You know the chair analogy:
If you’re standing on a chair and someone is on the ground, it’s always easier for them to pull you down than for you to pull them up.
Your job isn’t to drag anyone up.
Your job is to stay steady on your chair.
What pulls me down the fastest?
Think:
a night of broken sleep
running late and the day hasn’t even started
someone asking you for “one more thing” when you’re already stretched
the after‑school rush where everyone needs you at once
a text message that hits the wrong nerve
scrolling when you’re tired and suddenly you’re comparing your life to strangers
a messy house when your brain is already overloaded
These are the moments that yank you off your chair before you even realise you’ve wobbled.
What situations make me wobble?
Think:
walking into a room where the energy is off
conflict or tension you didn’t see coming
being around someone who drains you
too many decisions in too short a time
being hungry, tired, overstimulated, or all three
trying to hold everyone else together while you’re quietly falling apart
These are the moments where your frequency drops without your consent.
What emotions hijack me?
Think:
overwhelm that hits like a wave
irritation that comes out of nowhere
sadness that sits in your chest
anxiety that makes your stomach flip
guilt for needing space
shame for not coping “better”
These are the emotions that take the wheel when your nervous system is stretched thin.
What thoughts spiral me out of the present moment?
Think:
“I can’t keep doing this.”
“Everyone needs something from me.”
“I’m failing.”
“What if something goes wrong?”
“I should be coping better than this.”
“I don’t have time for this.”
These are the thoughts that pull you out of your body and into the story.
This is where your toolkit begins — with honesty.
Not judgement.
Not shame.
Just awareness.
Because once you know what pulls you down, you can choose tools that lift you back up — quickly, gently, and in ways that actually work for your life.
Your toolkit begins with knowing your weak spots — not judging them.
Step 2: Choose Tools That Bring You Back Into Peace Quickly
This is where your toolkit becomes practical.
These are the tools that snap you out of the spiral and back into your body.
Think:
“What brings me back to myself in under 60 seconds?”
For me, it’s things like:
strong scents — sage, essential oils etc
liquid herbs or a homeopathic that talks me off the ledge
stepping outside barefoot
a cold drink of water
a deep breath with my hand on my chest
shaking my hands until my shoulders drop
These are your interrupt tools — the ones that stop the ego mid‑spiral.
Make a list of yours.
Step 3: Add Tools That Soothe Once Peace Begins to Land
Once the intensity softens, you need tools that help you stay in the softness instead of bouncing back into fear.
These are slower, gentler, grounding tools:
a cup of tea
standing barefoot in the sunshine
sitting with your animals
knitting, drawing, cooking, creating
walking in nature
swimming in water
spending time with your family
lighting a candle
tidying a corner of your home
reading something nourishing
These are the tools that help you shift from “I’m okay” into “I’m safe.”
Step 4: Add Tools That Lead You Toward Love (Not Fear)
These are the tools that reconnect you to your heart:
Journaling - see side not around this below
gratitude lists - I have a separate journal for this and a breathing technique that helps me think of the things that i am grateful for
soft music - i have a play list but sometimes my ego will rear up if i play it so I need to read the room of my energy still
prayer, intention, or quiet reflection - usually for me this is whilst I am observing the natural surroundings around me
asking “What would love choose right now?” - Love is the answer, what was the question?
reminding yourself “I choose presence over panic.” I think often of my 99 year old self here, fishing for a facial expression she might have as to if I should be worried about whatever it is that I am facing, most of the time she is either giving me a smug ‘really’ look or a compassionate ‘there there’ look, ‘all is good Martine, life is gooooood’!
These tools help you move from survival mode into expansion.
A Little Side Note on Journaling (Because I Know Some of You Resist It)
Before you roll your eyes at the word journaling, hear me out. I know so many of you resist it — you tell yourselves you don’t have time, you don’t know what to write, or you’re scared of what might come out. But journaling is honestly one of the most powerful tools we have for understanding what’s actually happening inside us. Even if you start by blaming someone, venting, spiralling, or writing absolute nonsense, something magical happens after a few lines. The deeper pattern starts to reveal itself. The truth underneath the reaction begins to soften. And once the story loosens its grip, you finally have space to bring in the tenderness — the forgiveness, the compassion, the cuddles for the younger part of you who felt this pain long before today. Journaling isn’t about being poetic. It’s about giving your inner world somewhere to land so you can stop carrying it alone.
Step 5: Add Your Homeopathic Tools
Homeopathy is one tool — not the whole kit.
Choose 2–3 remedies that match your patterns.
For February, many people are resonating with:
Ignatia — emotional overwhelm, sudden shifts, heart‑cracks, the “I’m holding too much” feeling
Gelsemium — nerves, anticipation, morning dread, butterflies that won’t settle
Pulsatilla — softness, sensitivity, hormonal waves, needing reassurance and connection
Aconite — sudden fear, shocky feelings, panic spikes, “I feel unsafe and I don’t know why”
Arsenicum — anxious restlessness, fear of things going wrong, needing order and reassurance
Kali Nerve‑Tonic Themes (Kali phos, Kali mur, Kali sulph) — mental fatigue, emotional depletion, irritability, overstimulation, and the “my system is fried and needs a reset” feeling
Use them the way you’d use any tool in your kit — match the intensity of the moment.
If it’s a wobble, one dose is enough.
If it’s a wave, take a dose, breathe, and repeat if needed as the emotional intensity shifts.
Use them like any other tool:
match the intensity of the moment.
If it’s a wobble → one dose
If it’s a wave → take a dose, breathe, repeat if needed
Step 6: Put It Somewhere You’ll Actually Use It
Your toolkit is useless if it lives in your Notes app.
Put it:
on your fridge
on your mirror
in your journal
on your desk
as your phone wallpaper
Make it visible.
Make it accessible.
Make it yours.
Step 7: Update It Every Month
As the energies shift, so will your needs.
This mid‑month newsletter is where we’ll keep refining your toolkit — adding tools, removing tools, and adjusting to whatever the collective is doing (or shedding) next.
Your toolkit is how you stay present through the shedding.
It’s how you stay on your chair.
It’s how you choose love over fear, softness over contraction, and presence over panic.
You’re not meant to do this alone.
You’re meant to do it equipped.
Love,
Martine
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