Why We Talk Self-Care But Don't Walk It: Shattering Illusions

Everywhere you turn, there’s talk of self-care—as if we could all simply adopt a neat routine that magically heals our wounds. We read the articles, listen to podcasts, and nod along in workshops, knowing full well what we should be doing: meditate, set boundaries, practice mindfulness, get enough sleep, eat well, and so on. Yet, when it comes to actually putting these practices into daily action, something always seems to hold us back. We talk, but we rarely walk it.

Have you ever wondered why, despite knowing exactly what we should do to care for ourselves, we often end up stuck in patterns of inaction? We all carry an inner narrative—a set of beliefs that convince us we are incapable of lasting change, or that our current way is simply “good enough.” These stories, however comforting in their familiarity, are often elaborate lies we tell ourselves to avoid the pain of stepping into the unknown.

Staying In or Getting Out - The Comfort Zone

Our habits are deeply rooted in our brain’s natural wiring. Over time, repeated actions create well-established neural pathways, making our familiar routines feel almost automatic—even if we know they no longer serve us. It’s not that change is impossible; it’s that our minds are wired to lean into comfort, even when that comfort is a facade masking deep-seated fears. The psychology of habit is both fascinating and frustrating because it is our mind’s way of protecting us from discomfort, inadvertently trapping us in a cycle of self-deception.

Then there are the excuses—the internal voices that whisper, “I’m not worthy,” “Change is too hard,” or “I don’t deserve better.” These excuses are powerful constructs, born in our earliest experiences and reinforced over time. They are the shields we use to deflect vulnerability and the risk of failure, even when we know that real growth lies on the other side of discomfort. By clinging to these familiar yet limiting narratives, we prevent ourselves from exploring new possibilities and healing our old wounds.

When the hard work of transformation starts to stir discomfort, many of us retreat to what’s safe and known. The moment we begin to peel away the layers of our conditioned beliefs, we are met with an unsettling truth about ourselves—one that can feel too raw to face. It is in those moments of tension and resistance that our habitual self-deception screams for us to revert back to old patterns, and before we know it, the opportunity for real change slips away.

Willing to do the work?

But here’s the paradox: lasting change can only occur when we dare to be honest with ourselves. Recognising these self-imposed barriers is the first step toward breaking free from them. When we truly understand the psychology of our habits and the excuses we cling to, we empower ourselves to dismantle them piece by piece. It’s not a quick fix, but a gradual evolution, this is why I nut on about 2mm changes—a process that requires compassion, accountability, and the courage to lean into discomfort rather than flee from it.

If you’re ready to challenge these familiar illusions and step into a space of genuine transformation, take a moment to reflect on your own patterns. Journal your thoughts, observe where the resistance lies, and allow yourself the grace to face those uncomfortable truths. The answers are much more likely to come inside out, than outside in. And remember, change is not about being perfect; it’s about being real.

This is my jam, I have been called a relentless force for transformation—a true change maker who isn’t afraid to call you on your shit. I do so with unwavering clarity, divinely guided and a heart full of fierce compassion, I hold space for you as you confront your toughest patterns and step into your truth. My guidance will be unfiltered light at times, that can cut through the fog of self-deception, challenging you to dismantle the old and rebuild anew.

I am here to push past your comfort zones

I’m not here to sugar-coat your journey; I AM here to push you past your comfort zones and celebrate every raw, unvarnished victory along the way. When you’re ready to embrace lasting change and reclaim your power, I am right by your side, a catalyst, a support, a cheer leader—holding you gently while you get it all together, and inspiring you to shine in your most authentic light.

Are you ready?

Warmest,

Martine