An Ode to Anxiety

Did you know that after an animal escapes a hairy situation, one where they have had to be in ‘fight or flight’ they do a shake of their entire body and it releases the trauma from their being.

We humans have different experiences. I would say that I have spent most of my adult life learning about the coping mechanisms I have developed as a way of ‘shaking’ away my trauma.
Anxiety has been something that has governed my life in many ways and I still to this day put in my strategies when I feel this ancient vibration emerge in me.

I learn more and more about my anxiety every day, and like every archetype within me, it develops, shifts and heals in layers.

My most powerful tool for anxiety is my breath, I feel immediately safe when I begin to do my deep belly breaths. It reminds me of who I am, how far I have come and all the amazing and enriching aspects of the journey I am on.

Most of the time this is so effective, one time recently however, I felt a deeper layer of my trauma around my anxiety come up.

I was put in a situation where someone was reflecting towards me the exact trauma I had experienced as a child. The mirror was confronting, intense and for a moment, it put me right back into my child’s body, experiencing all that I had.

As I began to breath deeply, I remembered the inner wisdom of all my years beyond this trauma, as I continued to breath, I could feel in my heart what I needed to do, how I needed to respond, my breath reminded me of ‘who to call’ both etherically and physically, how to drop into my heart, how to remember what was the truth here and how to observe that this was yet another ‘teaching’.

Which it was and still is as I continue to learn from this direct event, this one night in time.

I too have been as angry and abusive as the person that was standing before me that night, I was facing many aspects of the mirror that still resided in me, many aspects of this energy that I was witnessing.

I knew what I was experiencing was not me being the victim but me realigning old energies that I have still be operating with but that I could no longer take with me.

Our human journey is so fascinating, an animal knows no time, he moves with his instincts and the cycles of the earth – night, day and seasonally. My breath is a simple reminder of my instincts, it allows me to gather myself more into the natural rhythm, my breath takes me outdoors to look at the stars, my breath allows me to see all the beauty and love around me, my breath reminds me of my connection to all. I feel comfort, peace, surrender and most of all forgiveness to others and myself.

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